Wednesday, 24 April 2013

Better then worse.

I got better. Actually better. Functioning better and happy better and all the sorts of better. I dealt with shit and it was ok and I was normal but now I feel like I'm going down hill again.

I'm stressed. I'm anxious. I'm skipping 6th form to sleep and when I go to 6th form I don't really do much except bits of work because I don't really have many friends there anymore.

I've been having flashbacks and I don't see that there's any way to make them stop but they're so painful.

I want to make plans and put together a programme or something to focus on and follow to the letter but I just can't believe that anything will make me feel ok and healthy right now. It's not like I've returned to a "dark place" because I feel that that sounds like I've changed myself and returned to unhealthy behaviour or something, but I haven't.

*sighs*
So, this is depressing... I'm going to do exercise soon-ish. Hopefully I'll feel better but I'm totally expecting to feel the same. Ah, pessimism.

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