Today the realisation of how my meds are fucking me up came to me.
They give me manic days, or at least manic periods that stretch for hours were I feel a strange sort of great. Not a healthy great though, the sort were you feel like you are too invincible, everything is too exciting and you know that it's not right to feel like that. Manic that can wake me up at 3am thinking it's a great idea to cook or clean or paint but that can end at any moment leaving me at a crashing low were I feel worthless, hopeless and like everything is pretty pointless anyway. I can be away with the fairies one minute and on my bed crying the next. Maybe it's not the meds, just the illness, but either way shouldn't Prozac help with that?
It has drained the motivation out of me. My room is a mess, my school work isn't getting done, socialising is low priority, people have to nag me to do the simplest things.
I sleep all the time. I can have 7 or even 9 hours in a night then top that up with 3 hours in the day, then another 10 hours at night.
Today I was manic this morning, became very depressed, slept, woke up, became manic and I've just crashed again. I'm irritable and pissed off, a world away from how I've spent the past 2 hours feeling.
I don't know what it is but I'm sick of living in this bubble where I don't tell anyone the truth about how I'm feeling, I barely talk to so many people around me and am living in this state of mind that has quickly become normal and acceptable.
Rant over innit.
They give me manic days, or at least manic periods that stretch for hours were I feel a strange sort of great. Not a healthy great though, the sort were you feel like you are too invincible, everything is too exciting and you know that it's not right to feel like that. Manic that can wake me up at 3am thinking it's a great idea to cook or clean or paint but that can end at any moment leaving me at a crashing low were I feel worthless, hopeless and like everything is pretty pointless anyway. I can be away with the fairies one minute and on my bed crying the next. Maybe it's not the meds, just the illness, but either way shouldn't Prozac help with that?
It has drained the motivation out of me. My room is a mess, my school work isn't getting done, socialising is low priority, people have to nag me to do the simplest things.
I sleep all the time. I can have 7 or even 9 hours in a night then top that up with 3 hours in the day, then another 10 hours at night.
Today I was manic this morning, became very depressed, slept, woke up, became manic and I've just crashed again. I'm irritable and pissed off, a world away from how I've spent the past 2 hours feeling.
I don't know what it is but I'm sick of living in this bubble where I don't tell anyone the truth about how I'm feeling, I barely talk to so many people around me and am living in this state of mind that has quickly become normal and acceptable.
Rant over innit.
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